The Circle of Life

Just spent a good hour or more talking with a dear friend who just experienced the death of her beloved father. I have known this friend for nearly 40 years and I know how close she was to her dad. I went to the funeral and it was truly a wonderful tribute to her father. My own father has Alzheimers and though I still have him here and very gratefully so, however,I am losing him little by little as his mind slips more and more. It will be a long painful process. I worry about my mom and how long she will be able to physically care for him. Her body is wearing down and she pushes herself when she should not. She is amazing.
My friend and I talked about our parents, how strong they are/were, how precious the time is we have with them, how some things are so hard to even imagine the pain, how long it will take not to feel this overwhelming hurt in your chest, how earthly things don’t really matter, how much anticipation and hope we have of Heaven! Friends like that are priceless! You can really go deep.
With Thanksgiving just a few days away I am reminded of all the many blessings I have to be thankful for. My children are healthy, my grandkids are healthy (at least on the mend…one is recovering from pneumonia), my parents are still here, I have a wonderful husband, and all my needs are covered.
I might sell houses for a living but only people make a house a home! Relationships are what really matters in this life. The circle of life is an amazing thing. We are born, we grow, we grow old, we die. The next generation moves on. I don’t know what the next year holds but I know right here, right now, I have so much to be grateful for.

Home Improvement Experiences

My husband and I just finished a home improvement project. It was my idea to do it and he had to be convinced to go along. I wanted to replace the backsplash in the kitchen. We had finally installed granite counter tops like 2 years ago and the tile backsplash that was there just didn’t look good to me anymore. He kept putting it off but I finally just started taking the tiles off the wall and then he had to commit! Of course, it took much longer than we expected and cost more than we had anticipated. These are standard revelations of home improvement projects! However, a few late nights and sore muscles later, we have been very pleased with the end result.
Isn’t that they way most things go? You have to work a little harder, pay a little more, and put some sweat into it, but in the end you are satisfied. The added bonus of the trouble and investment? Appreciation and gratitude! Just commit and do it!

Remembering 9/11

There is one thing for sure, we all remember where we were and what we were doing the moment we found out our country was under attack.  At the time I was a kindergarten teacher happily going about my day with my darling 5 and 6 year old students when another teacher was at my door and motioned for me.  I stepped out of the door and immediately knew something was terribly wrong because she was crying.  She said, “We are under attack!”  Confused, I asked her what she meant.  She said that 2 planes had flown into the World Trade Center and the Pentagon had been bombed (at that time we didn’t know yet it was another plane).  I literally started to go weak in the knees, I felt dizzy and sick to my stomach.  My first thoughts were, “It’s World War III.”

Then the hard part, walk back into that room with all those innocent little people and pretend everything was okay.  There were several children in my class who had a dad that was a pilot.  I discreetly began to inquire if their dad was home or flying today.  Some were flying.  This was really hitting close to home.

Parents started showing up to take their children home early as we all wanted to be near our loved ones not knowing the full extent of this attack or what else might happen.  I wanted to leave to get my own children who were in middle and high school at the time.  I was scared.  Our world as we had known it was changed forever.

It has been 10 years since we felt that punch in the gut.  When I think about the sense of security, the feeling that we were safe in the US was taken away… I still feel sick.  However, life has gone on, we have moved forward and fortunately, some justice has been brought to those who were responsible.

I, for one, will never forget that day.  I learned life lessons from it.  I will never take for granted our freedom, I don’t let the small stuff bother my like it use to, I appreciate the community heros who are ready to lay down their lives to help, and no matter how bad things might get for me…I am alive and I free!

House of Memories

I am in the process of putting together a memory book from my Mom and Dad’s grandchildren for their 60th wedding anniversary.  It occurred to me that so many of the memories the grandchildren have revolve around where my parents have lived.  They have lived in the same town, Harleyville, SC, all of their married life (expect for a brief 6 months) and have lived mostly in the two houses they have owned. 

The house I grew up in which they owned for the first 35 years of their marriage is the place where I equate being home.  It is full of memories for me.  My first child had his first Christmas there.  I love that house because of what it symbolizes to me.  I guess that is why when my parents had an opportunity to build a new house and sell that one, I was so upset!  It felt like my past was being sold! 

I imagine that many people feel that way about their house.  The longer you live there, the more happy memories you have there, the more attached you become to it.  So when people sell their house, it feels like they are selling their home!  Just as I came to realize that my memories are in my mind and not in that house on John Street, people who are selling their houses have to come to grips with that too.  Easier said than done though. 

One of the reasons a house is staged or depersonalized is so it starts to become someone else’s home.  If the reminders of all your memories are all over the house, it is hard for someone else to visualize them making memories of their own there.  Homeowners have the same letting go process to go through when it comes to negotiating price as the emotional attachment feels like it should be worth something.  Unfortunately, buyers won’t pay for your memories.  They are priceless to you as a seller but are worth nothing to a buyer.  Then comes the repairs.  You have been living with that leaky faucet for years, what’s the big deal?  It isn’t really a big deal, just seems like one at the time.  It’s something that needs to be fixed, simple.  It isn’t that the buyer is “nickel and diming” you to death, or that they are being unreasonable.  Yes, some buyers can be unusually picky but the important thing to remember is that your house is being sold and you are achieving your objective.  You are moving!  You are moving to a new house, in a new place and you will fill that house with new memories.